I don’t know how to start. None of this seems right. That’s my problem, that’s The problem.
No beginning is good enough to start anything. Maybe then, it is better to wait, till I think of a way, how to do it.
To be perfect, different, authentic, original, complicated nevertheless.
Because I know what I want. It is just that, when you are so very, very different, unusual and upside down you need a perfect plan for any of your complications to come true.
I’ll come to it, in time, anytime, some time or never…
Or maybe when I think of it, am I good enough to have such a quest? What do I know, do I know enough?
How could I ever think I can do it or that I will make it? So many others, much better than me, failed.
Success is a mountain of trying, failing and coming back, am I strong enough to make it to the top?
And every day, everything starts like this. How to overcome it? How to find a solution when you cannot even bear thinking of how big is a problem? You can find millions of excuses, ways to postpone the inevitable, but so much energy, stress and time goes into thin air and for what?
Since I do not have enough life for so much waiting, nor patience, there are some tips & tricks I do to overcome it.
First of all, I can do it, mantra, is not like it is working always but fake it to make it, if you have to.
If you can choose, and actually we can, start with little steps, small tasks and easy chores.
You can start making a cake by choosing a recipe, buying ingredients and thinking of decorations.
The first step of calling for a job interview can be researching about a position or employer.
Learning for an exam more easily starts with a list of questions and literature you have to find.
Initiate house cleaning by washing your sink, dusting or reorganizing books, whatever seems less boring or a bit fun.
Making a schedule could be a bit scary too, but nevertheless, it is dealing with our tasks and breaking it in a sequence of small steps. That way is easier to overcome the beginning and making the first, the one that seems so hard.
The timeline is tricky, sometimes it can make you start, because you have no choice, others is a sword above your head and yet you cannot do anything.